How to Regain a Love

Among the many different questions that affect the emotional and relational context, the most common request is "How can I regain my love?". Besides, there is no moment more difficult when you feel the person you love to say it's over. A stressful time, which really taste the gloom and despair. Your projects, your assumptions, your points balance will inexorably collapsed on him. And whatever you do, whatever, to regain the object of your love. Because God only knows how much you miss and hate the very idea that someone else may end up in bed sheets.

If you sail in these troubled waters, probably this site will help you. Here, thousands of people who find themselves in a situation similar to yours, tell their story, share their experiences, receive advice on how to behave in critical situations emotionally.

If you can reassure, know that many are able to overcome this difficult time. The periods of crisis are those in which more mature people, so that the very word "crisis" has no etymological sense at all negative. It derives from the greek "krinein," which means to separate. Separate good from evil, what is right and what is wrong. Focus on themselves to understand their mistakes and remedy them.

This is a golden moment, during which the fear of losing a loved one can be channeled in a positive effective pressure for change, to renew their behavior and separate positive and negative, greatly increasing personal and relational.

So, rule number one: do not panic. Nothing is lost forever, and even the seemingly unrecoverable situations, can be healed with the force of will and dedication. But it is vital to maintain calm and mental clarity, and avoid the many head shots counter dictated by emotion. Throwing food, swearing at your partner, harass dramatically, send messages and phone calls at all hours, will only serve to further exacerbate your situation and do away permanently.

Without a deep breath? Ok. Then you're ready to rule number two: focus your attention on the problem. If you have left, there's a reason. Always. And to understand why your partner is more comfortable with you, is a crucial step to get back together permanently. You may find the effect of gesture or phrase of apology to retrieve a situation temporarily, but if it does not solve the underlying problem, sooner or later will return to the surface.

Sit in a quiet environment in which you have the ability to concentrate and make a mental, and try to examine your relationship by writing your feelings in a notebook: what are the reasons that led to the breakup or fight? Take your time as you need: as Seneca wrote, "there is no favorable wind for the sailor who does not know where to go." If you want to get out of troubled waters in which you are surfing, it is essential to have clear ideas about what did not work in your relationship and how to remedy them.

Once you have completed this "examination of conscience," we come to rule number three: you need an excuse to reconnect with your loved one or simply to persuade her to instill worth give yourself a second chance. Your partner may not know that you really do want to change, to mature, to find and untangle the knots of painful relationship. He knows only that in that relationship was not good, that if you come to the difficult decision to give us a cut is the right one because there was no chemistry between you, that desire to know everything about the other, to become part of the his world, to share his passions and his dreams.

If you want to win this natural resistance to "backtrack", you will need to know something positive impression. In this regard, an idea generally effective (if you could add many others) is to stand on his side. Phrases like "You're an idiot! You will not regret it bitterly! You will never find anyone like me ", they never led to good results. But do you really think that someone will start again a love story with you because there is nothing better on the market? In addition to being something really shabby, since the world began, however, you are better alone than badly accompanied.

What we need instead is a gesture of openness towards him. And a pen and paper. You read that right, it says on paper. No sms, no email, not some other devilish cold and detached mail. At a time like this, the form has its own importance. And the poetry of a letter paper impregnated with the emotions of a person in love, is unparalleled. But let's take a concrete example:

My beloved Clare,

I confess that when I have taken this decision fell upon the world. I could not accept what was happening, I wanted to show you that you were wrong and expect them at any cost for you to come with me. "Pretend," what an idiot. Only now I realize I have been an unforgivably selfish, too careful about what I wanted to realize what was important to you. But love is anything but. And now that I understand, it's too late.

I am writing to ask forgiveness for the many, many times that I made ​​to suffer in recent months. And I want you to know that yours is the best choice. If this is what you want, you were right to leave. Because everything I want now is that you are happy.

I loved every single day,

Luke

That's it. This is what we mean by openness. At that point communicative level is unsettling. First, because the two ex-boyfriends are no longer fighting, but they finally agree on something. And I agree when it is harder to be. Secondly, because Clare thought he had left a boy selfish and distracted, and instead discovers the sensitive, sympathetic and attentive to his needs. Luke has changed. Perhaps he understood the lesson. Or maybe I was wrong instill. Maybe I should give him another chance. A month more, what does it cost?

It must be said that this is only the first step in the right direction. Then you should add many more things that would need a longer and more adequate treatment. As we said, most of the relationships that are experiencing a deep crisis, can be retrieved. But you need to ask in respect of its partners with the right emotional and social intelligence, in full respect of its will and its choices.

It also tells you your story to the blog, describing well what is your situation through the appropriate box at the bottom of this page so as to receive from readers of the blog, by me or by the staff, some tailored advice.

PS Oh, I forgot. Today Claire and Luke are happily married, love each other more than ever and have a wonderful daughter for five years! Bodes well for everyone, right? ;-)

Star writes:
November 15th, 2011 at 16:44

hello all, is 10 days we have left with my boyfriend, after a history of 4 years he at first told me that he was tired to be alone volev of continuing discussion and wanted to remain friends, however, to continue to see us out sometime. At first I told him that for me it was fine the next day was to come to my house to do something came and pretended that nothing had happened. Then in the evening we went out and there was something more than a kiss .. but he said it was only natural attraz and that he does not prove anything, after he took me back and told me that we still had to continue to hear. the next day but I have not called the next morning I could not resist and or to excuse or another, I continued to call throughout the week he would answer and respond to messages and rings on Saturday but I decided not to hear me and he has made itself felt even paragraphs, but on Sunday I called and talked to me resp asked me what I did etc. .. Then he asked me if I had to do in the evening I said no and he told me to see us .. and we have seen once again something clicked, I was her home and the next day I called and he answered me. But now I have not called. him when we met he told me he was nervous and did not know who to trust and who still wanted to test all the friendships. me when I said I thought that maybe this thing is testing me to see what I'm doing well if I keep him if I love him .. also because he has 2 numbers in a call it just me and the door that card always with you and then when we met I noticed that he had the necklace and the bracelet I gave him .. if he does not take me because they do this? I want to go with him but I do not know how to do .. aspect of your own resp
mario wrote:
November 14th, 2011 at 22:35

Hello everyone I have mario 21 years, I am writing because I have 2 months left with my short story in my ragazza.Vi storia.Lavoro in a family bar where I met June my girlfriend the daughter of my main . She was engaged for 4 years with a guy who has betrayed me, he mla sapevla anything, she was left with the excuse, and attended with me.abbiamo past of wonderful moments together, a love of film, then I have begun to annoy too many people who were at the bar were too many compliments and jokes etc. TOP OF glances did not care then I began to give way to be jealous, in short, it started to ruin the relationship and made me quarrel with his father until I nn said the game was over and a week and a telephone number has changed and I to win her back I did tt red roses duscorsi crying at the end of everything I went to hospital but did not effect so much that the day after I recovered her was with her ex, we have 2 months left Suam and that I no longer see even if I am continuing to work in his bar in the evening she does and I mattina.l other night I called the bar to see if I had to party rispisto me and her, with feigned indifference GKI I asked how I was and she and I started crying and kept saying he loved me that means? I search for? I'm afraid of falling back in love but I lost her aiutooooo
Jeremiah writes:
November 14th, 2011 at 20:28

Hi, I'm 16 years Jeremiah I'm with a girl for a year and I love to die for the problem is that one day I made the horns going with his "friend" I was wrong and stupid, she left me, and I would like to reclaim it, I know that she will give the possibility intrigues HELP D ':
Stefan writes:
November 14th, 2011 at 20:23

Hello everyone, today I made the attempt with the letter, but apparently did not work for now, unfortunately his attending someone else does not help me, I can not propose an output, I can not call her when I want, all I rema against ... .. actually I think she really wants to cut off the relationship, when I arrived with the letter was also quite helpful, but then maybe I made a mistake, I pulled out the usual diel speech because we can not fix things, I had to give her the letter and go, without going, but it's stronger than me ... .. when I hugged her hard, I am jealous as ever, she says that this person is good (mah .... you know a few months) and says that he knows me and knows that we feel, in the previous post I wrote that we had not already left in 2006, and with efforts emnormi had already managed to win her back in 2008, the first year was fantastic, then the situation has changed, I got out of hand and you put it with my father who now have a bad relationship.
PLEASE HELP ME ARE DESPERATE
Lost love wrote:
November 14th, 2011 at 16:13

Hello, I am a boy of nearly 18 years, are madly in love with a girl my own age, are 4 years that we had all the boyfriends we first experiences together, but now it left me because I'm too jealous of her, and This became jealous possessiveness sometimes, do not do it on purpose, but rather keep it closer to me that my behavior was detached to the point of letting.
Please help me I do not know how to do, without her I can not seem to live, thank you to those who lose time for me, thank him in advance.
Francis
luana Says:
November 14th, 2011 at 09:37

Hello, I'm here to write you because I really need help.
have been married for 6 years and a half, me and my husband have been together for 13 years, we have a 5 year old, and two years now my husband is in crisis, says he does not love me anymore.
only this, 'the flame has been extinguished!'.
Only 4 years ago we were very attached, was a strong relationship, intense, our friends we prendevevamo as an example of the perfect couple.
For me it is still so, yes life is hard, monotonous and certainly have changed in recent years has changed him, but I wonder a love so intense, as can vanish into thin air?
We are one step from the separation, we are two strangers in the house, but I can not accept, there is no other, I know that there's still that girl in me that I did fall in love and get him back to us and for my baby ...
Thanks for listening
Maria Rosa writes:
November 14th, 2011 at 04:31

Hello everyone my name is Maria Rosa ...
I'm here to tell my story .. I would love some advice
Me and my ex we broke up 7 months ago, after a history of 1 year and 2 months ... We broke up because they told me that he spoke ill of me when we fight .. The lasciii told me you bring the person who told me some things but I said no., Was better than we were leaving .. Then after a month we had left the door and tried but its been closed .. I have searched many times but to get back with me but just to have a purpose .. I want to be honest I loved him, and when it was not because I could not tell him I loved him ..
I used it .. I have tried to ask for an explanation of why and then go away again but nothing his silence and not to show I understood that he was only for that purpose : ( .. But I started to tell him just now I went out more .. He always says that you want to have fun that is so good ... The last time I saw him I saw a bad episode where I for the first time I saw you kissing another, even though I know that with what has kissing can not be born something, because that girl and that the more you kiss the better .. in fact, i kiss my ex his best friend .. oh well when I saw that scene I ran home crying desperate .. I called him and told him to see us and he said he did not give more trouble and had to drop it .. h I said then why did you 1 week ago and he said HEM can not remember .. I then closed the cell and I sent him telling him that the mex I hated and that was to come home anymore and if you only dare to come I would have done away .. and that I would have deleted his number immediately after the mex and I said goodbye .. I then sent another mex on facebook saying that just may come to take the things that gave me ke I do not need and let me know or said before coming so I will not be found .. sn from there past 2 weeks that began with his best friend for milan you're having fun. I saw that year put the pictures on facebook where they dance with the girls .. : ( .. h, or I did the same thing where I was dancing and that I enjoy with my friends and friends .. my ex would come on Sunday .. I want some advice for how to win him back or help me I really need some advice. on his return I will try to show me different I do not go where he attended not to spy on him etc. ..
ps One last thing I'd love some advice if he would return to me what should I do?
Best regards Maria Rosa
Michael writes:
November 14th, 2011 at 01:42

Hello, I am Michael,
mine is a complicated situation I ke worn inside every day .. 7 months ago I met a single mother and it was love at first sight .... after a while we decided to move in together and tt was beautiful and I was happy davero ... then last week at some point my jealousy took over and she left me for this ... I cs in an attempt to resolve I cs sn turning to his relatives but was even more angry ... .. but then suddenly came back a day has definitely changed dp idea ... until Saturday QND Kiama me and we got back together ... but then the day after me k and said maybe we're running too much and I have to go out and see us kiesto for a month or so friends and I cm in order to lose No I agree ... and we agreed to see us on Monday ... but the question she suddenly see you Monday? I replied "Then you think" or "No bho know" ... I do cs? k's going on? help me ....
luca wrote:
November 14th, 2011 at 01:38

Hello everyone, I am deeply in love with my girlfriend I'm two years together, a few months there are a lot of discussion about things happened. Now forgive me but it has lost confidence in me ... and I do so that to win back soon! but as !!???
Stefan writes:
November 13th, 2011 at 20:49

Hello everyone, I am writing here to tell my story, because while reading I realized that perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel and maybe someone can help me.
Unfortunately, after 11 years and a half and I my love we are no longer together, I left in September 2010, and I give myself no peace since then, unfortunately, there have been inconsistencies and shortcomings on my part that have affected the relationship, we have always loved to madness, but in the last 2 years things started to go wrong, some external causes for the relationship, work, family, friends.
The fact remains that did not know it is missing the attention from me that this should always be, and now I'm here, and desperately seeking a solution, in the meantime I found out that she attended another person, and what I makes a terrible evil. The last time I saw her a month ago, unlike other times I did find desperate and down in the dumps, but very calmly told her what I feel, and I think some of them touched a heart, because some Things did not say every day. But I have not had any feedback, I do not have the heart to call her, but I would do it every day. I would do anything for her, is my great love and ask nothing more than to be with her.
She always told me that she loves me, but I get the impression that he is afraid to suffer again, and is the last thing I want to show her that voglio.Però have changed, and are again the person who has known 1999. Thanks to those who answer me. are destroyed.
Lost love wrote:
November 13th, 2011 at 13:00

@ Marina ..
I fully understand your state .. and I understand the difficulty of a distance relationship, because in a sense it was mine, too, although a few days a week or only at certain times ..
I will say to make you wish, to make him jealous and see how he reacts .. it must be said, however, that in this case, to regain it, and weighs more than a little distance, at least from my point of view
Morina wrote:
November 12th, 2011 at 19:25

.. Help .. I do not know what to do ..
About 3 weeks ago my boyfriend left me .. was a few days to wrap up 3 birthday together .. He left me telling me not to love me .. + .. and he suddenly realized the fact is that my story and some I am a 17 year old complicated .. Catania while almost 18 year old Neapolitan him .. We were having a moment of crisis he and I then went to talk to him alone and try to understand xk had to suffer like this ..
Those 2 days were beautiful it was beautiful, perfect .. The next morning on my arrival in Naples we had a little discussion xk nn I wanted to argue with him but I just had to tell us 2 k k qll and as far I would have thought tnt psw wanted his face to where we can at least check from there ..
He reacted badly to my request qst .. And there came on the discussion so much that I said, "but sn xk come here? to me who did it do? I'm sorry we are not made to be together .. x "I started to cry he came to me and told me, but You're not stupid out? I want to be with you I love you ..
I thought it was all sorted out as accompanying me at the station greeted me with a kiss and walked away .. For all I heard Viggo through sms and called him on the ferry ..
The next morning my back .. I told nn + are sure to love you .. Now I wonder why? Why has slept on my chest? because I said I love you? tnt because it was beautiful and happy cn me? Because when he got home he changed? .. I do not know what to think .. Everyone tells me k are a 17 year old and I have to go on .. But they must understand that I am a 17 year old love and a story that has brought forward x 3 years! ! He was everything I x cabbage! Now my life is blank .. I do not have to die .. I swear sometimes I think it was the mother xk k says his son is still small .. But I say the mother thinks now after 3 years? After 3 years to break my eggs? .. And he comes to think of myself to say No boyfriends + cm .. But I can quit? I No I can .. One answer I can give me nn k and one of the many qlk days ago .. He has blocked me from msn and I accepted his decision without telling me yesterday NNT .. While unlocked and is listening to all my songs .. Why? If you do not want to know about me prp + xk I delete from facebook? No because I blokka and delete it from msn? Continue to respond to my questions, but as soon as the questions get you angry and intense nn + I + answers .. Do not judge by age .. and even that was a long distance relationship xk today there are many long distance relationships .. Give me some advice please .. I'm tired of crying I miss!
barbie writes:
November 12th, 2011 at 13:09

in a desperate attempt to find help I found this blog .. and I too have a board, because I do not know what to do! It all started 7 years ago .. I liked a guy and I liked him, but I was too stupid to realize that I really liked. the years passed, and every time I saw him I felt something inside me .. something that he confessed to me to hear. decided to prove once and for all. After two weeks, one of which we have not seen because I was very sick, he went into crisis. two days later we tried again, but I was too scared enough to dump him after a week. with him I discovered that it is the time, but it is the person who falls in love. The following week I was almost all his mess to which I replied that even said that he wanted to be with me, after his own heart that she is right, but not according to his head, that I feel terrible, who would return with me, but he does because he is afraid to make me suffer, I am a beautiful girl, but I must not waste time with him, he is a guy who can not appreciate the wonderful person that life has placed at his side. I'm really bad for him, I think the first guy to suffer after 19 years. I made a decision, I want to get him back! but I do not know where to start : (
Lost love wrote:
November 12, 2011 10:30

x desperate ...

You're in a small town, so the chances of meeting him are many, especially if you know the places I frequent ...
make him an impromptu, as I do not think he can be proud of you refuse to listen ..
based on my situation quite complicated, I advise you to try them all, whether to stay with him is the thing you want most in the world!

@ Simone
unfortunately we are all under the same conditions : ( .. And you do not know what to do ....
Simon writes:
November 11th, 2011 at 18:55

my girlfriend left me, said he no longer loves me and not even know why, if he feels inside but said he still wants me well and that he likes me, sl ke no longer loves me ...
desperate ... writes:
November 11th, 2011 at 15:12

anke I want to tell my story ... my ex qsta story begins April 24, 2010 .. we were together about a year and three months ... I was in love ... and I think pazzamenta k anke it was him ... we've been through so much ... xo around February I wrote on facebook k and a boy was physically attractive and appealing ... qlke days after we began to anke ke msg ... I knew it was wrong xO agent provocateur un'attratazione qsto boy x (k x or I have to say No I've never done anything with guys and it was only qsto in'infatuazione passing). One evening, after spending time with my boyfriend, I was going home and suddenly the guy with the car passes the message we talked about it .. and no .. menre 5 minutes talking with another car pass the Friends of My boyfriend saw them ... I knew would happen ke a mess (I'm in a small town and you know: small country people murmurs) .. qlke sightsee after my boyfriend left me XKE ke had told her I had seen with the boy of e k and I had some kind of crap ... now qste invent more and more crap and I are disgraced in front of a country and he feels more qste and the more determined to get back cone nn nn ... I kind of gave me no explanation and I nn Datto has no chance of the ... ke is now almost 4 months we broke up ... I want to talk to him ... he semplicemnete No spare me neither or calls to the mess and I have deduced nn ke ... how do I want to talk to me? aiutatemiiii .... ... and he is proud of its constantly influenced by the AMCI k and the condition teribilmente help me ... I'm really desperate ... No idea what I should do ... I love him to death ...
Lost in love writes:
November 11th, 2011 at 09:37

@ Pindarolove
I totally understand how you feel, I know what would you do .. because I am well and I seem to us that our requests, if we can define, sbattino firmly against a wall .. we must be able to reduce or at least overcome this wall .. but how?! : (
Pindarolove writes:
November 11th, 2011 at 00:32

I write this blog because I am madly in love with a person I think I've lost sempre.è been a history of only 4 months, but I've been involved in the deepest of my heart, I add also that I am 19 years old and this is the My first story, but my dream is to have a serious relationship and involving up to the family. Having said that I begin the story: we need to known, or my friends and I had booked an apartment for the summer holidays too large, then a friend of mine decided to call her friends to cover the holes, c between them is her. Both of us are interested to know us better, until we decide to intaprendere a story. Months passed and we promise the beautiful with each other to tell us everything that is not va.tuttavia during the second month I go on holiday alone for two weeks and feeling the lack of more than ever I decide to tell her I love her, sending a message. She says she'll tell me when will we discuss pronta.Nell last month on what brings us this report and I say what are my goals, but she does not know what are the suoi.Dopo 4 months we been together one evening without discussing with me decides that it's over because it feels to feel a great affection for me but not the thrill she calls amore.Io I get angry at first, then slowly lespiego that we can move forward and find that feeling with feeling. I like to put doubts about his choice, but if in doubt, however, decided not to proseguire.Dice that everything we had together was real nice but that I deserve someone that you feel for me the same feeling that she feels she does not possess us again to respect his decision because it would be selfish to convince her to do something that does not want, and what I think really. But I want it back even though I said never abandon me as a friend, I will not settle for ciiò, I desperately need some advice, thank you very much